I was left to cope alone in my marriage.
To cope alone with my miscarriages.
To cope alone with the loss of my baby brother.
To cope alone with becoming a mom and adjusting to our new lifestyle.
To cope alone with all the things I asked for his help with.
To cope alone with him fucking his coworker on our second anniversary.
To cope alone with having my second child and adjustment to two babies.
To cope alone when he again cheated, this time by searching for Craigslist hook ups.
To cope alone with him going to prison.
To cope alone with him blaming me for his choices that led him to having his probation revoked.
To cope alone with having my third child with my husband in prison.
To cope raising three kids alone.
To cope alone with my failures as a provider.
To cope alone with my choices leading me to have to place the kids in my mothers care.
To cope alone when I tried to commit suicide on our 7th anniversary.
To cope alone with feeling like I was falling out of love with him.
To cope alone while healing from being stabbed and beat almost to death.
To cope alone with having zero desire to live anymore, he actually told me to kill myself because the kids would be better off.
To cope alone when I my suicide attempt failed.
To cope alone when my choices landed me in jail.
To cope alone when I led along about not giving up on our marriage because out of the cruelty of his heart he wanted me to hurt more rather than help each other heal from our past.
And for whatever fucked up reason I still wanted him and but he didn’t know what he wanted.
I know what I want though and I don’t want to cope alone anymore when I am supposed to have a partner to help cope with life, and even if I’m single at least I know that I wasn’t abandoned to cope by the person who claimed to love and care so much for me.
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